5 Things to Make Your Wife Save Money

Deciding to take control of your finances and start a serious savings plan is an important resolution, but if you are in a relationship then you need to realise that how your wife views and uses the family finances will affect the success of your resolution. Therefore, if you want to overhaul the family finances, you need to get your wife on your side, and following are five ways you can help convince your wife to save money:

1 – Do as I do

You can’t expect your wife to change her spending and savings habits if your commitment to the budget falls by the wayside. Therefore effect financial change in your marriage by being the change you want to see in your wife. At the end of the day you can’t make anyone change their behaviour unless they want to and all you can do is start saving as much money as you can, and share your successes and your strategies with your wife to convince her to do the same.

Before you start asking your wife to change her financial behaviour, make sure that she really is the one who is over spending, or if she is simply spending money on things you don’t think are important. For example, you can’t expect your wife to curb her collection of shoes if you continue to fill the shed with new power tools.

Even if you do go through each of these steps and you can’t affect any major change in your wife, that doesn’t mean you should give up on your good savings habits. It is natural to feel the situation is unfair if you are saving and denying yourself things when your wife isn’t, but you this is not the right way to look at it. Instead, look at it as a long term goal, where you continue to do your part in the hopes that your wife will see the benefits – after all if you are the one advocating a savings plan and you give up on your plans, then the cause is lost.

2 – Positive reinforcement

Changing any habit is hard work, and when finances are involved it becomes even harder. That is why you need to make sure you are encouraging your wife in a positive way to stick to the savings plans and goals you have discussed, because criticism will only put up defensive walls, and could result in a spending spree out of spite.

You can also implement rewards for your wife for sticking to the savings plan. For example a romantic dinner or that new pair of shoes could be a reward for sticking to the budget. Remember not to rush the process of getting your wife to save money, because while it can be tempting to up the ante as one goal is reached, if your wife feels like the bar keeps being moved higher and higher she will feel like she never has a chance of reaching it and will give up.

Offering positive reinforcement to your wife for saving will also help change her perception about saving. Saving usually has a bad reputation – it’s for tight-arses and means you have to give up everything you like. Instead, encourage a positive attitude towards saving which shows your wife that saving means there is more money to spend on the things your family wants and needs, when you spend less now it means you can spend more later and that in building a savings fund you are opening up a world of freedom and opportunities.

3 – Discuss the issues

You cannot simply expect to make your wife save money without discussing why you think it is important for the family and your future financial goals. Instead, sit down with your wife and discuss why you are concerned about your finances and why you think it is important to start saving. Remember that starting any new habit can be hard and uncomfortable but just as you find the motivation to go to the gym and you can complete your training circuit more easily the more you do it, so too will the savings habit become easier the more you do it, as long as you discuss these goals and possible road blocks from the beginning.

In the midst of these discussions remember that you are working from within the context of a marriage, where love and emotional investments are involved. If your wife has ever gotten upset when you ask her why she was out so late with the girls or whether that skirt is too tight to wear to the office, then you know how even the best intentioned comments can be misinterpreted. Therefore, as you discuss finances and savings with your wife, remember that you need to avoid anything which will sound accusing, or as though you don’t have faith in your wife.

4 – Make spending plans not spending bans

You will not be able to make your wife save money by telling her she can never go shopping again. Instead, you need to work out a practical amount she can use for spending on herself. Do this by working through your budget, entering the amount from both of your incomes, less all of your expenses and a regular deposit to your savings account. You can then split the remaining money between yourself and your wife to spend as you both please. Your wife can then spend that amount any way she wants and you spend your amount the way you want, and there should be no criticism on either side.

In this way you are encouraging your wife to spend less, but not cutting out all of her luxury spending. Remember that your wife is your partner in life and that you are implementing these savings plans to make a better future for both of you. This should serve as a motivator to make plans which suit both of you, and which help you save for your dream future together too.

5 – Have realistic goals

You cannot make your wife save by setting her unrealistic goals because she will never be able to achieve them and the two of you will never be able to share in the excitement of your successes. Instead, remember that what is important to your wife may not be important to you, but that doesn’t mean you should disregard it. Also keep in mind that savings revolutions don’t happen overnight, in the same way that crash dieting is a bad idea for shedding the kilos, savings plans which show instant results will reveal cracks in the long term because they are unrealistic to stick to.

Also try and keep your savings plans for your wife in perspective. Saving is important but it is not the most important thing in your marriage and when you recognise that you are asking your wife to make significant changes in her life, she is doing her best because she loves you and you have asked her to do it.

Alban has been writing on various ways to save money for several. As a newly married man, Alban has outlined his best tips to get his wife to save money. Alban is also a contributor at Savings Account Finder

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